The Elephant in The Room

As some of you may have read in our previous post of Our School's Project, the first week started off with lots of excitement!  And the excitement was definitely high during the students last week with us.  Please find below how the students found the project.  You will also find the final photographs of the collaborative piece of artwork between the students and the patients based on Terry Kettering's poem, 'The Elephant in the Room'.

The Children’s Thoughts of the Hospice…..

’I have enjoyed working with Gaynor because she is nice and kind.’
Ellie W-T

‘Even though people have illnesses, it doesn’t stop them from doing  great  activities at the hospice.
Nikki is the patient I worked with and she was really fun and gave our table some great ideas.’
Daisy

‘I enjoyed working with Mrs Leonard because she is a good helper and has a lot of ideas.’
Kayla

‘I enjoyed working with Gayner because she is nice and funny.’
Chloe

‘We learnt there are some people’s diseases which can’t be cured.  The hospice makes people feel at home.’
Ethan

‘We learnt about somebody’s life.  Some diseases can’t be cured but the Hospice makes people feel at home.’
Jack

‘The people that I care about have died although now I know that they are still with me.’
Caitlin

‘My visit to the Hospice helped me feel better about death.  It also helped me and Lexie to have lots of fun.  My partner had a lot of great ideas.’
Rose

‘I enjoyed the arts and crafts and working with the patients.’
Lexie

‘It has made me feel so lucky because the of the way I am.  I feel sad for the people who have an illness that can’t be treated.’
Joey

‘I learnt that the Hospice is for poorly people.’
Thomas

‘How much there is to do here.  I made friends with Margaret and Josie.  I enjoyed drawing and painting.’
Millie W

‘I enjoyed working with Gaynor because she is always happy and cheerful and she is really good at drawing.’
Ella

‘I didn’t know that Art and music helped patients at the Hospice in the Weald.’
Sian

‘I loved meeting Carolyn and writing the songs.’
Ollie

‘I like working  with Hayley and writing the song.’
Eian

‘I enjoyed everything.’
Danny

‘I enjoyed everything here.’
Luke

‘I have learnt that the Hospice in the Weald is not like a hospital and is more like a retirement home.’
Leo

‘Some diseases can’t be cured.  the Hospice makes people feel happy before they die.’
Adam

‘I have enjoyed working with the patients.’
WY

John's Story

John is currently a patient attending the Hospice Day Service once a week, he wanted to write down why and how he came to be at the Hospice.

Before I came to the Day service I would associate hospice care with terminal illness and nothing else.  My wife and I had discussed it and we remembered our own experiences with nursing homes, of everyone sat in chairs looking at each other.  Fortunately my neighbour spoke with us and told us of the Day Service and how many activities there were to do there and how good the hospice care had been for her.

When I am here at the Day Service it is a great respite for my wife as my condition must be an awful stress on her as well.  Since being here I’ve been really really impressed (and I cannot express this enough) with the quality of care and love of all the staff.  I also find a lot of support from other patients as well, learning about their own struggles and stories.

John joins the art group on a Tuesday afternoon, led by one of the 

Creative Artist Volunteers.  This is some of the work he has achieved 

The nurses are brilliant; I believe I have confided in them more than anyone else, as it feels so comfortable to do that here.  It’s great that my medical records are kept here as the nurses in the Day Service work together with local hospital specialists and GPs.  It was my specialist who referred me to the Hospice in the first place.

There is a gathering half way through the day that is open to all patients if they want to attend.  Sarah, the chaplaincy volunteer that runs it, brings a unique balance of presenting spirituality that encompasses all who join.

 "You would never have caught me with paintbrush in my hand before coming here!"

There is a peaceful, gentle buzz about the Hospice Day service.  I like to feel like there is life around me and other patients have shared this feeling with me as well.  We are still able to maintain our independence.  There is so much to do here!  But the day goes far too quickly.

A Nurses Point of View

Caroline is one of the nurses in the Hospice Day Service.  She wanted to share her story with you about how she became a nurse in palliative care and why she works for Hospice in the Weald.

Working at the Hospice Day Service happened quite by chance. Having worked as a District Nurse 20 years ago, I was looking for a new challenge. The Hospice in the Weald was still in the planning stages and having commenced a Diploma in Palliative Care at Brighton University, a year in I realised this was an area I very much wanted to work in.

 I applied for a job as a Staff Nurse at another hospice, working on their Inpatient Unit for four years and then a seconded community post for two years. After the birth of my daughter Alice, I took a break and while on leave I noticed the Hospice in the Weald were advertising for bank staff. I felt this was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.

 I joined the Hospice in the Weald and worked on the Inpatient Unit as a bank staff nurse for a year or two. One day whilst at work I was asked if I could do some shifts in the Day Centre to cover for sickness. The extension was just being completed and after a couple of months, once worked had finished and the extension opened, I applied for a part-time position in which I have been for the last 6 and half years.

 Over that time things have changed dramatically and the Hospice Day Service, as it is now known, has grown into a busy, flourishing unit, offering patients and their families a variety of services, activities, support groups and expertise.  I have the opportunity to meet patients and their families with a broad variety of life-limiting illnesses and journey with them, which is an enormous privilege.

 I am very grateful to be working in a place where I want to be.

The Bird Man of Kent

Through one of our wonderful Hospice Day Service volunteers, we were contacted by Peter, The Bird Man of Kent!  Peter came with his birds of prey to pay a visit to our patients.  There were beautiful owls and scary looking eagles amongst many others.  Pat, a patient of the Day Service, was staying in the InPatient Unit for respite that week, she wrote the following to tell you what the visit meant to her.

‘Whilst I was on respite at the Hospice in the Weald, what a wonderful surprise it was when I was taken to see the birds of prey.

I had my photograph taken with a beautiful owl, which now sits on my bookshelf at home for all to see.

It was also a nice surprise for all who attended the Day Service that day and who, like me, enjoyed it very much.

I felt the birds gave me a welcome distraction, which took my mind off my illness.’

Our Schools Project

Every school term we have a class of students join us in the Hospice Day Service.  They attend for four weeks, working on a Creative Arts project with the patients. They also get the opportunity to learn more about different roles and services in the Hospice.   

This Monday was the first session for Year 5 from Brenchley and Matfield Primary School at the Hospice.  The children were eager to get started on their art project!  Last week Nell Mellerick, our Creative Artist, went to visit the class to discuss any concerns and talked about a poem.  The poem is called ‘The Elephant in the Room’, written by Terry Kettering and it forms the start of our art project.  It goes as follows….

‘There’s an elephant in the room.

It is large and squatting,

So it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,

‘How are you?’ And, ‘I’m fine’

And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;

We talk about work;

We talk about everything else

Except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.

We all know it is there.

We are thinking about the elephant

As we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.

For, you see, it is a very big elephant.

It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about

The elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.

Oh, please, say Barbara again.

Oh, please, lets talk about

The elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,

Perhaps we can talk about her life.

Can I say, Barbara to you

And not have you look away?

For if I cannot,

Then you are leaving me alone

In a room with an elephant.’

The children were each given a line from the poem and for half the session worked with the patients in the Hospice Day Service to produce a pictorial design representing that line of poetry.  They will be painting their designs next week on large pieces of wood.  At the end of the four weeks this artwork will be on display in the reception of the Hospice, please come and have a look!

One student reported ‘It was much better than I thought it was going to be, less scary’.

Another reported ‘I can’t wait to work with Hayley next week!  She was the patient I designed my artwork with’.

The other half of the session was spent with Liza Waller, our Chaplain, who explained about the use of the Quiet Room and the importance of Spirituality within the Hospice.  At the end of the session the children were able to colour a butterfly for someone they were thinking of and put it on our butterfly tree.  Some of the children took the butterflies back to the Day Service and gave them to the patients!  Next week the students and patients will spend the second half of the session with our Music Therapist, Rachel Harris.

The importance of the Schools Project is to de-mystify the Hospice for the children, to open up to the wider community and to facilitate open and honest conversations about death and dying.

New Sculptures in the Quiet Garden

This week we celebrated the new metal work on the walls of the Quiet Garden and to say thank you to the volunteer who made it.  Situated between the InPatient Unit and the main Reception, outside of the Quiet Room, the garden is open for everyone to use.

Although the garden and water feature are very beautiful, relaxing and colourful the outer walls of the building looked a little bare.  Liza, our chaplain, asked one of the very talented Hospice Day Service (HDS) volunteers if they would create a piece of artwork to display.

'Brian has decorated the white walls with beautiful metallic 'branches ' and HDS patients are now going to add butterflies to finish it all off. It has made a real difference to the Quiet Garden and I have been delighted. Helen McGee the Medical Director and Rob Woolley the Chief Executive also came down briefly to join us and express their thanks.  The Quiet Room and Quiet Garden are enjoyed by many of our patients and the Midday Gatherings of prayers take place there Monday to Friday.' - Liza Waller, Chaplain at Hospice in the Weald

Brian came to the rescue!  Brian volunteers in HDS one day a week and works with patients on our very own metalwork table to produce some beautiful sculptures. 

This is an example of a garden sculpture Brian has made with one of our young patients, Charles, as a gift for his Dad.

Working with metal can be just like any other form of creative expression, it is the creation of a project that stimulates and focuses the patients.  Tom is a patient who has worked with Brian on several projects and said ‘I can design and create the projects myself, with the supervision of Brian.  I find it interesting and immensely satisfying.’

We held a small celebration for the launch of the metalwork in the Quiet Room where everyone could admire it!

Sue's Story

Sue attends the Hospice Day Service once a week and would like to share with you her story..... 

I was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in March 2013. This was devastating news. Although I had just retired from my life long job as an art teacher, I was still incredibly active. I loved running as a form of therapy and had completed two London Marathons to raise money for breast cancer. Everything I love doing was now impossible such as, painting, sewing, walking, and knitting. My doctor suggested that I visit the Hospice in the Weald.  Like most people I imagined a hospice to be a rather grim place, with patients who were very ill. But I try to always treat every new experience as an adventure, so I came along one morning as a guest to the day centre. My apprehension was completely misplaced. What I found was a lively, happy place.

Sue working on a screen print with the help of one of our volunteers.

While you are at the day centre you are looked after by the Hospice nurses and a group of kind people who are volunteers. Everyone is welcoming which makes you feel relaxed and part of a community. Each member is assigned a particular nurse who talks to you each week to check how you are. There are different activities you can join but also art and music therapies. If metal work is more your thing then that is available as well. If like me, you can’t move your arms then someone will help you, under your instruction, they will be your hands. If you are not keen on these kind of activities you can just relax in a reclining chair and read a newspaper.

The Hospice also offers you reflexology, massages and alternative therapies not only for you but your carer. One of the marvellous volunteers is a hairdresser.  She will wash, cut, and blow dry your hair, and you can even have a manicure. So some of us leave in the afternoon feeling pampered and looking fit for anything. Added to this, when I’m at the day centre it gives my husband a break from looking after me.

We have a three course meal with a menu to suit all tastes, and there is plenty to eat with a selection ranging from a traditional roast to a round of sandwiches.

Above all the Hospice nurses and the volunteers are cheerful, caring, and fun.

All these experiences are welcome but the real reason why I keep attending the day centre is to keep my own illness in perspective and remind me that I am not alone. There other people who have just as serious conditions and we all support each other.